I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
