I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
