just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
