you win again, gameday.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
