I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
