turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize