did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Say something about gay babies.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
