oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
