I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
