If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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