we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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