first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm jealous of your bromance
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
