Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
