I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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