Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
