How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
