i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
