You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
