Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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