is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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