His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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