Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
