Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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