They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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