we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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