I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize