all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
