the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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