Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize