MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
