I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
