I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
