Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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