i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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