Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
third nipple confirmed
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
