So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
