I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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