well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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