Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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