Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
