Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
