I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
