i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
