Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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