Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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