I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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