I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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