**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
