Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize