is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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