If i come over, it means nothing
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize