I understand Curling. That high.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
