There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
