saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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