She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
