Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
