Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize