just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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