I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
