I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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