So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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