I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
