sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
