is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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