One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I puked a lego.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
