He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
