There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
