if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
