hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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