Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
