just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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