Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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