your parents love me but you hate me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize