I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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