I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
