So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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