i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
