those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
