I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize