Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
